Kamrā devī dāsī Autobiography

I have put together a short autobiographical video series about my service to Śrila Prabhupāda and my professional practice because people have asked, and I am choosing to begin this series by addressing the rumors and falsehoods that have been spread about me and my practice amongst the devotees for many years.

I’m not so fond of talking about myself, but people have asked, and maybe a little background is relevant in the overall picture of the presentation of Kṛṣṇa Consciousness. People seem to have an interest in personal stories, what brings people to their chosen lifestyle and commitments…

Some people may think that there is a conflict of interest, having a strong relationship with Jesus Christ and being a disciple of His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Śrila Prabhupāda, but it is very far from that. Jesus’ main instruction was to learn to love the Lord, and the same with Śrila Prabhupāda. He said, “Just learn to love Kṛṣṇa.” A real spiritual master is non-denominational.

If something came out about misconduct in the churches by church leaders or whatever, it would be seen as their own discrepancy, and not blamed on Jesus Christ; that he taught them to do that or condoned the behavior. In the same way, it is essential that Śrila Prabhupāda is not lumped in with what some of his alleged followers did. There were, still are, those who externally glorified Śrila Prabhupāda, but actually created an empire of evil based on their deep envy of him.

The philosophy of Kṛṣṇa Consciousness itself became weaponized against those who chose to try to do right and keep Śrila Prabhupāda’s legacy alive. For example, the issue of offenses became a very good excuse for not hearing from those who saw the deviations that were going on. “Oh, you are offensive to the devotees. You should be shunned and banned, if you speak up it will destroy the mission, and it will all be your fault.

The so-called leaders used their positions to disempower everyone else, to stifle creative outreach, to make the other devotees feel “less than,” subservient, unsure of themselves. They destroyed the individual and collective spirit, the individual and collective empowerment in the propagation of real religion. Therefore, they created false religion, a society of the haves and have nots, poverty consciousness. Destroyed it all. The inner spirit, the preaching mission, the potency, destroyed it. Everyone self-flagellating with the philosophy, nothing can get anywhere, sweetness gone, sad faces. And they laugh at their success.

When I was born, I had full knowing that this was going to be a very difficult lifetime, and also a very blessed one, beyond all dreams. I cried deeply with this awareness, but to the doctors present in the delivery room, it was just the cries of another baby. I was raised in a violent and abusive household.

Śrila Prabhupāda told us that there were few actual demons, but that innocent people became influenced by them and thus took on those demonic qualities. Influence can come through the media, popular culture, mundane entertainment, video games, impure foods and sound vibration, and so on. As far as the real demons and their agenda, people such as Cathy O’Brien and Mark Phillips and others such as Liz Crokin give plenty of information as to names, places, and events.

What happened in the organization of ISKCON is completely tied into world politics, economics, and social structure. The world players and the leaders of the organization are tied up tightly in a very conscious pact, with a very specific agenda. They aim to destroy real religion, and anything good and Godly, including proper family values and a lifestyle based on the practice of pure devotional service to the Supreme Personality of Godhead under the direction of the bonafide spiritual master.

Many years ago, at a Vyasa-puja festival for Śrila Prabhupāda, I watched one of the organizational leaders calling up different disciples of Śrila Prabhupāda to garland his murti form and receive garlands from the murti in return. I felt like a complete outsider, watching the social structure, the hierarchy in play. I stood by the temple room door, unnoticed, and then I realized that I could no longer dance to anyone else’s choreography except Śrila Prabhupāda’s directly. I left the temple that day, and never went back, and I received reciprocation for that revelation in blessed ways that need no public disclosure.

I repeat that one of the main directions that Śrila Prabhupāda gave to me was to separate his name from what has gone on in his name that does not properly represent his mood, his mission, and his teachings. If his name is released from affiliation with the questionable deeds of his false followers, people will be enthusiastic to study and apply those teachings. Please read and study Śrila Prabhupāda’s books with great relish, and cherish them as the greatest gift you were ever given, which in actuality they are.